Although at Mililani people don't fight with guns and knives, there have been many fights either of words or sometimes fists. While the Crenshaw students all seem to come from very difficult backgrounds full of gang life, poverty, and non-parental parents, everyone at our school have their own trials as well. The biggest connection between Mililani and Crenshaw is the attitude towards learning. In both schools many of the students have a clear apathy towards schooling. They care more about what is happening now than what will happen in the future. However, in both schools there can also be found a certain amount of students with a true desire to learn and to progress beyond high school in their schooling. It is this small yet focused group of students that inspire the teachers and faculty of both schools to become involved and teach with the hope that they along with their peers will fulfill their potential.
An elite group of the teachers from both Mililani and Crenshaw are truly dedicated. Toni Little, Mama Moultrie, and Mr. Braxton are similar to many teachers at Mililani in terms of dedication to teaching the students. Some of the teachers at both schools know their students. They truly care for them and when they ask "How are you today?" they really mean it. That dedication is rare and the students at both Mililani and Crenshaw are lucky to have such a willing faculty.
While Crenshaw High School and Mililani High School do clearly have their differences, both schools have the same roots. Granted Crenshaw is far more extreme due to its location and the background of its students, both schools are full of the same "stock" of people. It is the big similarities that overshadow the smaller differences to prove just how similar the two schools really are.
Camille!
ReplyDeleteI like how you took a different angle and made it work! I agree with many of the points you made, about the fights, the problems that all students face, the similarities in students' desires to succeed, and the "elite group of teachers." I think that when you look at it this way, schools and students from all over the world are very similiar in certain aspects. Whereever you go, you will always have the same problems, even if they are at different extremes. Overall I think it is well written and you made your point well! :)
Amy
You always have so much to say about the material that we read, and I love that you can strongly support what you're saying. What I really liked about your response was that you approached it differently from everyone else's by thinking that Crenshaw and Mililani were similar. You used it as a counterargument to everyone else's responses and did really well playing devil's advocate. So, overall, A++ :)
ReplyDeleteI also like the stance you took on this, looking at the two schools' similarities instead of their extreme differences the way I did. I like how you looked at the basics, especially about the students' attitudes towards learning and wanting a higher education after high school. And I totally agree with what you said about the similarities between some of the most dedicated teachers at Mililani and Crenshaw.
ReplyDeleteHaha I agree with the others. It's good you didn't take the typical stance and totally convinced me :] Your points are valid and I can clearly see them now that I look at our school.
ReplyDeleteI think you could add more of your voice though so that it will become a totally kick butt essay with emotion.
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ReplyDeleteI do like how you go towards defending how both school strive towards their education, but what I did not like was how you stated that "Mililani High School is similar to Crenshaw High School just not as extreme." You begin to state this as if it were a fact, and it seems that it will be your main focus in your essay but you completely abandon what you've stated without making a clear evidence on how they are similar, violence-wise. Therefore your statement seems as if it had no use. Don't get me wrong, I loved your wording, your voice, the passion you had while you wrote it... I could get all that from reading it, but you really do need to elaborate on how Mililani could even come close to the harshness of the violence that occurs in Crenshaw. It's not even comparable. Then you state that "everyone at our school have their own trials as well." Again, it's not very comparable and just by saying that it seems that you are demeaning their school in some way. Yes, we do have our own trials but do we have to fear for our lives everyday? It seems that your wording, especially in the beginning, could throw some readers off. Just be careful with your wording is all. Also, I'd like to disagree with you on the teachers. To me, it seems like they don't really care. As if they view their own students as savages and just want their paychecks. Anyways, I'm done. I hope I didn't scare you too much. -Jhay
ReplyDeleteCamille! You got 5 posts! That's great! I love you writing, but like Jhay Boy, I wanted to know why you think that Mililani is like Crenshaw but not as extreme. Do you think that most schools are similar? I wonder about your school in Korea. What was that like? I'm curious! Keep reading and blogging! :)
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